Bubble Wrap

dude, harsh much.
what would your wife say?
i'm sure she'd have had a beautifully vitriolic retort saved for just such an occasion.
wha...?
my wife was an amazing woman. we never tested it but i'm sure she could have felled large and scary beasts from a hundred paces with sheer invective.
so ... you married the one with the crazy parents.
judge not, kiddo. our marriage had its quirks just like anyone else's.
look, tyler, thanks but i don't think-
-kumar, i'm sorry. i did say i was new at this.
i just think you should be refocusing your energies into something a little more productive than mushroom juice and porn.
are you absolutely certain that there should be more to life than that?

by Goatlord

An interesting point to consider.

Though, juice of the 'shroom aside, pornography is just so boring. If it doesn't involve parachuteless freefall, a baker's dozen of little persons and lava, why bother?