Bubble Wrap

elvis wasn't quite what i was getting at but thinking about the "other" relaxation method led me to remember when we first met and that taser thing that-
that "taser thing" is something we never mention again!
ah, that's a shame.
not in the slightest.
as i really wanted to ask if there was the slimmest of chances that i might be able to borrow it.
are you serious?!
i'd give it back.
she isn't just a taser, she's my...
actually, here. take the dirty slut. i don't want to see her-
it, ever again!
that's excellent g. thank you so much.
i really think this is going to help.
not again.
you give them love, attention, fresh batteries and they're never satisfied.
goddamn whores!
whoa, not cool man. unresolved issues much?
look, it's just a taser. i only need it to get me off and-
la la la la la la,
i can't hear you.
la la la la la la la la la la la la
hey baby,
my name is bob.

by Goatlord

I like to relax by rubbing salt into open wounds.

Not my wounds, obviously.