i realise that, from the way you seem so "unhinged", it must have been fairly horrifying but whatever it was, it wasn't my fault.

yes i say!
i certainly had no involvement in sending the entire planet to sleep and, up until quite recently, i was completely unaware of your existence!

this is not my fault.
stop being such a fucking jerk!

sure, whatever. you still looking for a place to stay?

i noticed you were literally sleeping in the gutter last night. would you like to stay at my place?

why not, if i have to die in a hail of giraffe shrapnel so be it. you're a very tiring person to talk to, you know.

i don't know what to say.

say nothing, you're cutting into my nap time.