all men are evil. | women are tools of satan. | kitties are nice though. |
i met a beautiful woman today who offered me one million dollars for one night with my husband. really? | so... | ...so i shot her with my taser and had her taken away to the loony bin. nooooooooooo! |
cling wrap over the toilet, tyler? it’s the classics that are the best. happy valentine’s day. | you’re thinking of april fool’s day. i always get those confused,.. | i wonder why. |
hello, welcome to pizza hut. i’m annie, a robot that can understand english to make it easier for you to order. where would you like to pick up from? wishart you have selected,.. ’warrick’. is this correct? | wishart!! you have selected ’no’. where would you like to pickup from? oh for the love of,.. wishart! | you have selected ’active warhead’. is this correct? god damn,... waste of,... stupid,.!!!! you have selected ’yes’. |
i was thinking of buying myself a mini. | yeah! sure! go ahead! really? cool! | i love those skirts. i thought i’d have to convince him to let me buy a new car. |
says here that michael jackson checked into a hospital yesterday. does it say why? | they’re calling it a "flu-like illness." oh, i see. i don’t suppose this means they’ll be putting his trial on hold? | guess so. say, i’m not feeling so well myself. you’re not getting out of tantric sex night that easily. no, really, i think i’m going to vomit. |
i’ve been wondering.are we australian, or are we american? hmm... | well? sorry, i was thinking about mel gibson. |