when i was a boy, there was a pig in the village who made a small thatched cottage out of straw. | the villagers said it was ’bedevilled’ and burnt it at the stake. | it was delicious. oh god, i wish work started earlier. |
when i was young, i was addicted to those ’your mamma so fat’ jokes. now i’m married to you i find it quite ironic. actually, it wouldn’t be ironic. if your mother was so concerned with your ’addiction’ that she turned to binge eating, that would be ironic. | gee, thanks for that. any time you want me to point out your flaws just give me a call. | now, is there anything else you’d like to know before i tear you a new anus? um, yes. just give me to time to put the question. |
mmm, tasty coffee. | did you know that cyanide tastes like almonds? | *bleuch!* of course, almonds taste like almonds also. |
the biggest australian dramas of ’05! | who will live? who will be horribly disfigured in a low budget makeover show? | who gives a flying.. tyler! whatever. |
’the o.c.’ was billed as channel 10’s "guilty pleasure." now channel 7 are advertising their new "show" ’desperate housewives’ as "the biggest, must see, guilty pleasure." it’s disgustingly childish. perhaps channel 9 can go with, "the biggest, must see, guilty pleasure that no parent can afford to miss" for csi:ny. | not funny but i wouldn’t bet against it. ok then, what did elvis like to use as a tv remote? | a colt .45 automatic. oh yeah, the king of comedy, uh-huh. thankyouverymuch. ahhh, goforthandmultiply. |
for the last time, go and rake the friggin’ sand garden. fine! | *gnnt*,.. *gasp*,.. for the love of,.. *hnnt*,... stupid,.. crap! *hnnt*,... bugger!!,... *clank*,... piss!!!,... | dog biting,... *grunt*,.. chalk biter,.. towel sucking!!!,.. *clunk* piss wanker!!,.. *shoove* cock goblins!!! zen, tyler. zen. |
innocent naivety where pants?!! there’re pants? | resignation wear pants! here! pants! | full moon were-pants!! hear pants? |