he’s so dreamy,.. why, thank you. | not you! ash mccloud from that new show. you know, he’s not a real actor,.. he just plays one on tv. | what? you heard me. |
i just finished stephen hawking’s a brief history of time. i was surprised at how much i thought i understood. the guy in the wheelchair who dumped his loyal wife and shacked up with a hot nurse? funny. | please, let us bypass the adult conversation and head directly to the childish banter. sure, ok. you’re just jealous that you could never pick up women as hot as the ones a guy with motor neuron disease can. | ha ha, you said ... *sigh* ass. so, what was this "adult conversation" thing you mentioned earlier? |
in saudi arabia, did you know that it is legal to skin your neighbour’s children if they cannot recite the entirety of the koran on command? | you are such a liar. am not. | are so. uh-ah. |
i see you bought yourself the alfred hitchcock collection. i watched psycho. it gave me some great ideas. | ho ho ho. well, as fun as this is, don’t you have work? good point, i’m going,.. heh,. hitch cock! | i wonder if he’ll realise which movie i got my ideas from when he discovers i’ve sewn bird seed into his pants lining. ieeeeeyyyyy!!!! not a worm,.. not a worm!!! heh,.. cock,.. |
what’s today? you do not know?! | i was thinking tuesday but it could be wednesday, it kinda feels like a wednesday to me. how can she not know? | dear child, let me break this to you gently, today is devour simian foeti day! i think there’s an arm band or something. nope, the calendar says it’s a tuesday. |
tyler, i want to move. brisbane no longer does it for me, the idiocy rate is unacceptably high. i think you’ll find there’s quite a bit of that going ’round lately. | how about naples or perhaps chamonix? they’re supposed to be wonderful all year. yes but they’re full of foreigners. | fine, what about tasmania? it’s still part of australia. we do have the same last name i suppose. |
happy birfday to me. happy birfday to me. happy birfday dear ... meeeeeeee. happy birfday to me. woooooo! | what the ... tyler, it’s only 7am and you’re already three sheets to the wind! ish ma birfday. fine! happy birthday. i’m off to work. | eeexcelent. ish now time for the watching of da boobies and wearing of frozen cupcakes upon the forehead. lick my frozen monkey nodules! |