are you still attracted to me? | gravitationally? | ow! |
when i was little, i lived in a house that had a chimney. | one christmas, i’m pretty sure i heard the chimney say ’no’. |
i was thinking of getting a pet. a pet? | don’t you like animals? i married you, didn’t i. |
..chickens in choppers, heh-heh. *sniff* *sniff* did you just fart? women don’t fart | mi dispiace signora, did you just break wind? no then what is that god awful smell? | probably the prawns i sewed into your jacket |
the fire of you heart burns cold for my loins yes, my dog’s satay is nubian | when your yoghurt nose twists unfairly, simon melts their face freakishly, bovines know the origin of your honour | mmmmm snozberry |
he’s making a list, and checking it once. | he already knows, that people are cunts! | so you’re doing the christmas shopping today eh? santa claus is gunning, the town. |
you know what i like the most about christmas? mmm? what’s that? | reminding you that you forgot to do your tax. | ’tis the season. |