when i lick the noodles of my mind, i immediately understand life. i become life. to lick the noodles of my mind is to understand perfection as seen from the lickable noodles of my mind. i lick therefore i am. | reform no other before me, i am as the wind through the undergarments of life. i am the undergarments of life. i blow therefore i lick therefore i am. so it is written, so shall it be, forever more. | ah-monkey. |
i want your soul. my soul? i don’t think so. | you wanted to marry me, you wanted my love. i gave you my love as you gave me yours. your love is mine, and no others. i want your soul! my soul is my own. without it, i am not me. how may i freely give my love to you if i am... not? | i want your soul! i... |
i left the house this morning and my volvo wasn’t handling very well. i suspected that my steering had become unbalanced so i pulled over and do you know what i found? | supermarket trolley wheels! supermarket trolleys wheels. someone had replaced my wheels with supermarket trolley wheels. that was me. | no shit! |
hi there, is this tyler? yes? who’s this? good news tyler! on behalf of radio station 67.8fm you’ve won the opportunity to benefit from over $5000 worth of goods for an initial outlay of only $35 | good news friendly telemarketer. thanks to my new inbound call tracking system you’ve "won" the opportunity to benefit from the fact that i work at a gun store and i get cut-price weaponry and ammunition. erm,.. don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything. we’re already on our way. | *click* i’m going out sweetie. aw no, killing telemarketers? he’s going to want sex tonight. |
imagine if you were a werewolf. you could go get your haircut on the day before the full moon and then return the next day for a refund. it’d be the perfect scam. | so, your scam would be that you ended up with no extra money than you had, and no haircut but you’d have managed to waste a hairdressers time,..? | fucking hairdressers |
i wonder if the olympics will make "tonsil hockey" a national sport... | at least you already know you suck. | goal! |
teehee! when monique is away, tyler will play...or in this case, download some porn! | 2%...2%...2%... | tyler! i’m home; to wreck your fun! *sigh* this is going to be a long night. |