mmmm, reading each new ’harry potter’ book is like putting on a favoured old coat or perhaps a brand new pair of woollen socks. they feel so warm and snuggly, very easy to slip into. | although, the same could be said of a two dollar whore. but we won’t. |
what are you watching? ’monk,’ yet another dopey american detective show. | does he spell his name with a silent ’e’ and ’y’? | begone git! ooo, ooo, ooo! |
ok, i’ll bite. what’s got you so steamed? the patent office rejected another of my applications! it was the best one yet! | how could they reject a "vaginal sneakoscope"?! | oh, c’mon! |
i want you to be on your best behaviour at this dinner party tonight. of course. you can trust me. | later that night. i can’t believe you!! i can’t take you anywhere!! | what the hell is your problem? all i did was say that i liked her hat. she is a siamese twin. oh,.. that would explain why it was so life like,... ,..and foul mouthed. |
"nose biting is said still to be practised in micronesia. while nose biting is a well described phenomenon, this is not the case with bites to the penis,..." pity. | chew my domesticated beast of burden. i am not eating your vomit tyler. vomit? | yes you’re very clever but i refuse to "chew your yak." oh, no, what i meant was, bite my ass, y’know donkey, ha ha. fine, just forget it. perhaps i can get the yak to take lessons from the micronesians. |
dear? why did the bank send us a ’thank-you’ letter for taking out a second mortgage on the house when we haven’t taken out a second mortgage? i needed some money to finance a new project i’m working on. | your going to finance your own movie by remor... you did it to buy more beads didn’t you? beads. | it’s a very unhealthy obsesion monique. whilst i admit the bead underpants are extremely stimulating, i think you should sto.. beads! |
did you get that game from your friend for the dinner party on friday? no. what? he said we could borrow it. we even invited the little prick to the dinner. | he changed his mind. he said it was in his car and that he was kind of using it. he’s using a board game in his car? can’t he see over the steering wheel? who knows? look, he’s just a little prick. | oh for chet’s sake! this always happens. i guess we’ll just have to play cards, again! i’m really getting sick of playing strip poker with your parents monique. you and me both. *shudder* |