so you’re saying that your astra is better than my volvo in every single way? well, yes. my astra goes faster, has better acceleration, is more comfortable, has better handling and has better fuel consumption. it’s better in every single way. | mmm? in fact, i could beat you in any type of competition with my astra. | wanna play chicken? uh, no. |
you know maybe you should show me a little more respect, i do work in a gun shop you know? | you’re their accountant! | well,.. have you done your tax yet? there are fines you know? |
did you know that the ’cold’ headache that you get when you suck too hard on a slurpee is the same as why people get a pain in their left arm when there’s a problem with their heart? the brain confuses the signals. | does this explain why i get the creeping horrors when you kiss me? | no. that’s because i hate you. |
i just want you to know that i felt sooo sexually satisfied last night. | but i came home late from,... | fuck you, my darling! |
are you still attracted to me? | gravitationally? | ow! |
when i was little, i lived in a house that had a chimney. | one christmas, i’m pretty sure i heard the chimney say ’no’. |
i was thinking of getting a pet. a pet? | don’t you like animals? i married you, didn’t i. |