Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' 1984 '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: i’ve been reading the novel ’1984’. it’s so cool. a dangerously beaurocratic future.
:Tyler says: war is peace.
:Tyler says: ignorance is strength.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique news.
:Monigue says: a sick and tired marriage is romance?
:Tyler says: i think that the tv show ’big brother’ could gain some inspiration from that book.
,Tyler talk.,Monique news.
:Monigue says: how so?
:Tyler says: imagine that there was no eviction. just one day your roommate was ’vanished’, and never refered to again.
:Tyler says: ’this is big brother. there never was a sixth roommate. any memory you have of one must be false’
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Shocking '
written by
Stumpybear
:Tyler says: mmm..this licorice is really chewy.
,Tyler news.,Monique none.
:Tyler says: but hard and crunchy on the inside.
:Monigue says from offstage: why isn’t my computer working? hey! who took my extension cord?!
,Tyler news.,Monique none.
:Monigue says: oh god. at least this time it wasn’t plugged in.
:Tyler says: aah, refreshing.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Alchemize This '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: cowman 7!
the most rockenest, hippest and coolest band the world is ever likely to see! plus we have the highest content of donkey sauce ever to come out of brisvegas! wanna be my groupie?
:Monigue says: as tempting as that offer is, i do have a prior commitment to chew out my own eyeballs.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: tyler, you don’t have to actually be a rockstar in order to feel like one.
:Monigue says: you just have to be putting it away with an underage model and snort an obscene amout of cocaine.
:Tyler says: really? excellent!
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: although, that’s just for you’re average joe. you however, are going to have to be able to eat lead and shit gold.
:Tyler says: goddamnit!
,Tyler angry.,Monique slygrin.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Tyler and the Coxswain '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: your friend you got my new hard drive from, he’s a bit of a comedian is he?
:Tyler says: wes? he has his moments i suppose. why do you ask?
:Monigue says: oh, i don’t know, perhaps it’s got something to do with the 40gb of hard core bestiality he pre-loaded onto the hard drive?!
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: girl on horse, girl on dog, dog on horse, ferrets in cows, man on postbox... it is all disgusting and i am not amused!
:Tyler says: technically, i don’t think that last one counts. if you’d like, i could take it back and get you another, stain free, hard drive.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique angry.
:Monigue says: sicko. you’d sprain both your wrists before you got through that lot.
:Tyler says: it’s an art form my dear. you just have to pace yourself.
:Monigue says: screw you very much for that mental image. i’m off to snort some napisan.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' I’ve got to get some new material. '
written by
Goatlord
frighteningly loud farty sound!
:Monigue says: ahhh, better out than in.
:Tyler says: for you maybe. damn woman!
,Tyler shock.,Monique slygrin.
:Monigue says: sweet, sweet relief.
:Tyler says from offstage: i think you killed the neighbour’s kid.
,Tyler none.,Monique slygrin.
:Monigue says: serves him right for being locked in our basement.
,Tyler none.,Monique slygrin.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Van Gogh '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: you know, everyone remembers that van gogh cut off his own ear, but it’s not like that was a big thing?
:Monigue says: what?
:Tyler says: well, he was a painter. if he wanted to make a big impact he could have gouged out one of his eyes. wouldn’t that have been a romantic gesture?
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: i always thought that it was romantic when you sent me an ear in the post.
,Tyler silent.,Monique slygrin.
:Monigue says: that is, until i realised it wasn’t yours.
,Tyler news.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' How to make a grown man cry. '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says from offstage: phone says! ...yeah, good one mate. listen, i’ve got to go. there’s a shapely young thing waiting for me in the sack, if you know what i mean, heh heh.
,Tyler none.,Monique shock.
:Tyler says from offstage: phone says! that’s right! she’s even got her name tattooed on her side, totally wild man. monique? nah, absolutely clueless. i’ll talk to you later, i’ve got to relieve someone of their ability to walk. oh, yeah!
,Tyler none.,Monique angry.
:Tyler says from offstage: oh, hey monique. no, you’ve got it all wrong. c’mon, put the bat down. look, it’s just...
smash
:Tyler says from offstage: dear lord noooo!
my beer!
you killed my beer!
why?!
,Tyler none.,Monique none.
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