 maybe we could get fit by riding bikes.gosh! that takes me back. that last time i rode a bike was,...   | ,..oh, yes. my buck’s night.  | ah, the memories.  |
| maybe we could get fit by riding bikes.gosh! that takes me back. that last time i rode a bike was,... | ,..oh, yes. my buck’s night. | ah, the memories. |
| how do you make a dog meow?put it in the freezer for three days, pull it out then run it across a band saw. meeeeeeow!   | you thieved that from george smilovici.it’s called "paying homage" dear. how about this one then, what do dogs say when they spontaneously combust? | woof  |
| you’re so boring. all you ever do is watch tv and read the paper. why aren’t you more exciting?much as i hate agreeing with you, i do believe that there are a host of unfinished hobbies in the attic, awaiting my return. | a week later it’s nice to see that you’re working on your hobbies. i see you’ve dug out both the telescope and the cameras. | wait a second,... |
oh my god! kylie minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  | well, she should have kept them out of the sun. | it’s not the first time her breasts have created a blood-fed growth.ew!mmm, cancery! |
| ...she said what?"my pet monkey has better handwriting skills than you and he uses his own fecal matter as a medium."that’s what i thought you said. wow, that’s a little disturbing. | thanks monique, talking to you has really helped.your handwriting is atrocious, get over it. the bigger picture is eluding you at present, isn’t it?you want to have a go at my artwork now? | tyler, an old friend of yours has a pet monkey, that she communicates with, using alphabet poo.yes but...oh, right. well, that’s one less card to send out at christmas i guess. |
| they say, poor handwriting stems from a mind working so fast that the hand just can’t keep up.they say that?that’s what they say. | well, it’s funny you should mention that because i heard, they say poor handwriting stems from chronic masturbation.they say that?that’s what they say. | it’s quite possible that they are full of shit.you never know. |
thud thud thud  | thud smash squeal | hats off to those wacky scientist guys for making pigs that fly but couldn’t they have used something other than magpie dna to help out?i’m sure they thought they were very clever at the time. |