apparently, my boss is getting some serious grief from a rival "gun shop." he’s given all employees some special, "home protection." a gun! you’ve brought a firearm into this house?! it’s ok monique, i’ll have it on me at all times. see, it’s tucked into my pan... | bang | i’m ok. careful there tyler, you don’t want to go off half-cocked. |
i can’t believe i’m so disappointed with the hitchhiker’s movie. the editing was,.. was,.. | you really had a lot resting on that movie didn’t you? i almost feel bad for my part in the selection of the editor. you chose the editor? | ’chose’ is probably the wrong word for a process involving tequila and a blindfold. |
well, i’m off fishing. | aren’t you a bit optimistic using those over-sized hooks? i just like a situation where those with the biggest mouths are punished. | what the hell is that supposed to mean? whoops! gotta go. |
wasn’t ’eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’ wonderful and romantic? meh! it just prompted such intriguing questions. | meh! erasing memories. what a strange notion. hey tyler, what memories would you have deleted? | this conversation would make a nice start. fucker! whoa! déjà vu! |
aaaaaaargh! | you prick! you think it’s funny to replace my bathroom mirror with an aquarium containing a dugong? not as funny as the fact that it’s been there two days already. fuck you, tyler. | ancient sailors mistook them for mermaids. blow me! big fat hairy mermaids. |
did you just say ’nothing’? i didn’t say anything. no, did you just say,. ’nothing’? | the word ’nothing’? no damnit!! did you speak, but not say anything at all? start making sense baldy or i’m packing you off to a home. |
have the baskervilles moved in next door? i don’t believe so. well, i just...ah, i don’t suppose you know anything about the large, glowing canine next door? | it’s funny you should mention that monique. when i was a young lad, my friend and i would delight in painting the neighbourhood pets all the colours of the rainbow. these days, however, i have many more years under the belt, a bigger bank account and access to a disgustingly large hardware store where i may purchase fluorescent spray paint and uv light globes to suit street lamps. the revolution starts here, baby! that’s really quite inventive tyler, but... | ...but? i’m just trying to get past the fact you had a friend when you were young. i did give him half my pocket money every week. |