you used the last of the milk.

you’re chipper!

what was the solution?

what was the problem?

i don’t know, grease boy, you tell me.

excuse me?

fondle your own.

you know your friend alex?

that’s the one.

sometimes he’s a really pleasant chap,..

but sometimes he comes across as a power hungry machivalian arse-clown.

you’ve known this quantum theorist longer. which is he?

i hear it’s pretty good.

good thing i superglued your ass to that chair then.

a gun! you’ve brought a firearm into this house?!

careful there tyler, you don’t want to go off half-cocked.

you really had a lot resting on that movie didn’t you? i almost feel bad for my part in the selection of the editor.

’chose’ is probably the wrong word for a process involving tequila and a blindfold.

aren’t you a bit optimistic using those over-sized hooks?

what the hell is that supposed to mean?

wasn’t ’eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’ wonderful and romantic?

it just prompted such intriguing questions.

erasing memories. what a strange notion.

hey tyler, what memories would you have deleted?

fucker!

you prick! you think it’s funny to replace my bathroom mirror with an aquarium containing a dugong?

fuck you, tyler.

blow me!

i didn’t say anything.

the word ’nothing’?

start making sense baldy or i’m packing you off to a home.

have the baskervilles moved in next door?

well, i just...ah, i don’t suppose you know anything about the large, glowing canine next door?

that’s really quite inventive tyler, but...

i’m just trying to get past the fact you had a friend when you were young.

if i remember correctly, i told you that it was ’screwing with the laws of nature’.

well well well, so mister infallible has an archillies heel. so what brings this bout of ecological gallantry?

,..then i’ve got an appointment at the solarium, then it’s off to the beauty parlor for a skin peel.

at least i don’t try to recapture someone else’s youth.

three words tyler.
crime. against. humanity.

yeah, why are you so surprised?

good, except my boogy board got mixed up with someone else’s on the trip. i seem to have someone’s called ’schapelle corby’.

so, what’s in the news back here in australia?

well, why don’t you go into the garage and put the car back together.

i get bored too.

from where?

what the hell are you talking about?

what? how far?

you’re an idiot!

i ran into justin and louise today. they asked how you were and wanted to know if we would be interested in going to a bbq some time. i told them it was a good idea and suggested that they should invite andrew and cheryl, zoe and ash and john and leeanne. zoe’s little girl just had her first birthday.

bbq’s make you wonder?

i’m pretty sure i remember the day, i believe an impressive clergyman was involved. did you believe you were ever just tyler?

i guess so.

i must say, i feel a little better about myself.

it’s been so hard, living day in and day out surrounded by complete and utter morons. to know that every person i would meet was simply just not as good as i, was really quite upsetting.

then i locked my keys in the car.

are you going to see the doctor about your back today?

fine, it’s your back. if you don’t want to listen to either of us, that’s your lookout. just be careful with the nurofen, it’s strong stuff.

you’re using a definition of "read" that i have been previously unaware of aren’t you?

i still can’t figure out how you threw your back out.

a likely story. when i found you prostrate on the office floor, it looked as if you’d been crawling away from the computer desk. i know that chair isn’t the most comfortable but.... you were jacking off to porn weren’t you?!

you sick little puppy. i am so getting my own keyboard and mouse.

i want to lick your nose.

i want to lick your nose.

moo.

maybe we could get fit by riding bikes.

you thieved that from george smilovici.