Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Dusting '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: this place is so dusty.
:Monigue says: then maybe you should do some dusting.
:Tyler says: i’m not doing dusting. that’s a chick’s job.
,Tyler query.,Monique news.
:Monigue says from offstage: a chick’s job?
:Tyler says: yeah. hey, where are you going?
:Monigue says from offstage: to get a broom.
,Tyler talk.,Monique none.
:Tyler says: oh, good.
:Monigue says from offstage: you better start running.
:Tyler says: ah, fuck
,Tyler guilty.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Birds '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: great tits!
:Monigue says: what?
,Tyler news.,Monique shock.
:Tyler says: i’m reading an article about birdlife.
:Monigue says: oh.
,Tyler talk.,Monique guilty.
:Tyler says: nice boobies!
:Monigue says: cock!
,Tyler news.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Quentin Goldman '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: i’ve been thinking about terri schiavo.
:Monigue says: she’s dead now tyler. just leave her be.
:Tyler says: i was just wondering if the orderlies needed to use vaseline on her like they did uma in ’kill bill.’
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
,Tyler silent.,Monique silent.
:Monigue says: i would not say such things if i were you.
:Tyler says: why not? you can’t hurt me. westley and i are joined by the bonds of love.
:Monigue says: what were we talking about?
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' In The Name Of '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says from offstage: i’m home, late again. you know how aroused these gun nuts get when they’re talking about their collections. honestly, they should be arrested for public lewdness or maybe, indecent dealings with a firearm.
,Tyler none.,Monique headinhands.
:Tyler says: oh, you’re asleep...on the kitchen table, dead perhaps? hmmm, regular drool patern, still warm, not dead. that’s ok monique, we can play tomorrow.
,Tyler talk.,Monique headinhands.
:Tyler says from offstage: *uff* time to lay off the donuts girl, we can’t afford an escalator.
,Tyler none.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Stellar teacup ride '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: if our planet is revolving around the sun plus it’s spinning on it’s axis, doesn’t that mean it’s like a giant tea cup ride like at disney world?
:Monigue says: what?
:Tyler says: well, aren’t we slowing down during the day then doing a ’whip’ at night time?
,Tyler query.,Monique shock.
:Monigue says: i don’t think that astronomy works like that. it’s not a stellar theme park ride.
:Tyler says: oh,..
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: so then it’s the fact that i’m married to you that’s the reason i wake up screaming?
,Tyler news.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Slip Slidin’ Away '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: i was looking for some old photo’s of mine in the garage this morning and i came across a box of your old uni stuff. does "analien: in space no one can hear you ream!" mean anything to you?
:Tyler says: why whatever do you mean?
,Tyler guilty.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: i mean, why do you have a vhs tape of hard core, gay porn amongst your old uni things?
:Tyler says: it was a gift from friends, i’ve never actually watched it.
:Monigue says: i’m not worried about your sexuality tyler. it’s just that when i saw the title and the signatures of all the cast and the personal message, "to our bestest grease boy ever." i thought to myself, what the hell is a grease boy?
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: it’s not something i’m ashamed of. while you were sucking off, ah...up to, all those directors to let you work on their films, i was able to pay my university fees upfront. it may not have paid as much as a fluffer but i was working an honest job for honest...
:Monigue says: ...hard core, gay porn. you haven’t answered my question senator.
:Tyler says: no i haven’t, have i.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Hitting Girls '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: why is it that you get to hit me but i don’t get to hit you?
:Monigue says: because i’m a girl.
:Tyler says: so,..
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: remember lorena bobbitt?
:Tyler says: take it. it’s not like i enjoy using my penis any more.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: and you already sit down to pee.
:Tyler says: bite me.
,Tyler news.,Monique slygrin.
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