Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Werd to the Stumpy Bear '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: "babies are the nicest way of all to start making people." apparently. so, my mother still wants to know when we are having kids.
:Tyler says: she wants mutant grandspawn?! it’s too late anyway, i had the operation done.
,Tyler query.,Monique news.
:Monigue says: what? when was this? why didn’t you consult me or perhaps my mother, about it? can you at least sit down when i’m talking at...are you skipping?
,Tyler none.,Monique query.
:Tyler says from offstage: i only said i had the operation done, i didn’t specify to whom said operation was performed on. remember that time you woke up in a bathtub full of ice?
:Monigue says: those had better not be my fallopian tubes you’re jumping rope with!
:Tyler says from offstage: i’m a little duch girl dressed in blue. these are the things i like to do...
,Tyler none.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Sweet '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: ah, harken to thee my muse. my beloved. fragrant blossom unto whom the earth itself does turn. i must away, but i shall return and lavish thee with delights.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique shock.
,Tyler none.,Monique shock.,Tyler none.,Monique shock.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Sweet 2 '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: pray i delight in rekindling our tryst. let me pamper you like the angel that you are.
:Monigue says: you
:Monigue says: are
,Tyler query.,Monique shock.
:Monigue says: freaking
:Monigue says: me
:Monigue says: out!!
,Tyler silent.,Monique shock.
:Tyler says: i know. that’s the point.
:Tyler says: you know nothing pile of tapir waste.
:Monigue says: phew
,Tyler news.,Monique headinhands.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Show us your Pink Panther '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says from offstage: aiiiiiieeeeeee!
,Tyler query.,Monique none.
:Monigue says from offstage: my god! they’re everywhere! when was the last time you were in here?!
:Tyler says: oh, it’s been at least a week, i guess. why?
,Tyler talk.,Monique none.
:Monigue says from offstage: ants! a disgustingly large, infestation of ants!
:Tyler says: i hear you can get a topical cream for that these days.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Fill Up My Senses '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: a large porn conglomerate in europe has snaffled up a medical cable channel in the us. they plan to introduce a programme dedicated to the therapeutic benefits of "fisting."
,Tyler news.,Monique coffee.
:Monigue says: *cough* *splutter* the therapeutic benefits of...how the hell do they think they’re going to do that?!
,Tyler news.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: one inch at a time. one inch, at a time.
,Tyler talk.,Monique silent.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' It’s not um.... '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: dear lord! that fancy new coffee you bought is awful!
:Monigue says: don’t blame me, you made it this mor....dear lord!
,Tyler coffee.,Monique coffee.
:Monigue says: wait a minute, fancy new coffee from a pretty ’urn’ shaped container?
:Tyler says: that’s the one. perhaps we could give the rest to one of your relatives we don’t like.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: one of my relatives!? that’s rich, you stupid bastard! we’re drinking grandma!
,Tyler shock.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Will you love me? '
written by
Dan
the traditional setup
:Monigue says: will you love me when i’m old and wrinkled?
,Tyler news.,Monique query.
the traditional punchline
:Tyler says: of course i do dear.
,Tyler news.,Monique silent.
tyler’s actual answer
:Tyler says: don’t be retarded you slack mole.
,Tyler news.,Monique angry.
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