Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Rascal Dog '
written by
Dan
:Monigue says: your stupid dog snatched the meat off the bench today.
:Tyler says: oh stuart, you rascally canine.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: at any rate, we’re having stu for dinner.
:Tyler says: that’s fine. i quite like stew.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: wait,..
:Tyler says: what?
,Tyler shock.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Suck the Hookah '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: that teacher friend of yours is an absolute riot. wow, can that man tell a joke! there was this one, a right corker..
:Monigue says: yes, dylan has managed to be the life of any party for as long as i’ve known him but tyler dear, how many times do we have to go through this? you. can’t. tell. jokes.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: nah, this one is sheer brilliance. i can’t go wrong.

what’s better than doing the horizontal folk dance with a 16 year old schoolgirl?
:Tyler says: ...nothing!

ha, fantastic. you know it’s funny, because it’s...
,Tyler talk.,Monique silent.
:Tyler says: the pain!
:Monigue says from offstage: hi, therese? your daughter is in dylan’s class this year right? yeah, about that...
,Tyler headinhands.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Morning Meeting '
written by
Jeremy
,Tyler news.,Monique none.
:Monigue says from offstage: oh shit! my alarm didn’t go off. oh god, i’m late!
:Tyler says: sorry. must have bumped it last night.
,Tyler news.,Monique none.
:Monigue says from offstage: ahh! you bastard, i had a morning meeting with--
:Tyler says: with brad pitt. yes, you told me many, many times last night.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Another Mother-in-Law Joke '
written by
Jeremy
:Tyler says: ... so i said, "get off my lawn, you old hag, or i’m calling the cops!"
:Monigue says: hahahahaha!
,Tyler talk.,Monique headinhands.
:Tyler says: you thought that was funny?
:Monigue says: well, of course. it was a joke...right?
,Tyler query.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: uh. on a completely unrelated note, there was a call from your mother. she needs bail money.
:Monigue says: i’d kill you now, but she’s going to want that pleasure when she gets out.
,Tyler guilty.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Text Messages I Have Received '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: beware the lord of the fluorescent monkey penis!
:Tyler says: are you drunk????
,Tyler query.,Monique angry.
:Monigue says: i’m having a weekend get together, can i borrow all your buffy and angel dvds?
:Tyler says: lillee is here, 7lb 2oz.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: can you bring a nutcracker?
:Monigue says: i .will freeze your chickens :-(
,Tyler coffee.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Betty or Veronica? '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: zoe or kaylee?
,Tyler query.,Monique coffee.
:Monigue says: kaylee or river?
,Tyler coffee.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: buffy or willow?
:Monigue says: it’s just not fair!
,Tyler query.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Vows '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: i sometimes think back to what the priest said, the day we were married.
:Monigue says: priest? you mean that guy dressed as elvis?
:Tyler says: oh he was a priest, i’m just not sure from which church.
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: at any rate, most of it’s foggy but i remember these words like they were spoken yesterday.
:Tyler says: "death do us part"
,Tyler talk.,Monique coffee.
:Monigue says: roll on, reaper.
:Tyler says: amen to that.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique news.
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